You saw the TikTok.
You looked up agencies between classes.
Three replied, all warm, all saying yes.
Now you're stuck. "It's a lot more complicated than it seems when you get those ads on TikTok."
Three yeses feel like a strong hand
Three acceptances feel like leverage.
They tell you the agencies want you.
They say nothing about how you'll be treated once you're in.
One donor put it bluntly: "You are a part of the products they're selling."
That doesn't make anyone a villain.
A warm voice on the phone isn't the same as a written promise.
And one donor learned that difference the hard way.
Nobody tells you that you can compare
Here is what she said afterward: "Am I allowed to have multiple agents? I didn't know. And so I just picked one."
She later wished she'd picked one that would advocate for her.
Whether you can work with more than one agency is a fair question to put in writing.
You're allowed to ask.
You're allowed to compare.
The ads never mention that part.
The ads leave out the boring parts
Ads lead with the dollar figure.
They skip the injections, the recovery, the travel and the contracts.
Only about 36% of recruitment ads mention any risk at all.
One donor said it plainly: "It wasn't part of the informed consent process."
Nobody else is going to fill that gap in for you.
So fill it yourself, with the same questions for every agency.
Same questions, in writing, to every agency
Pick five questions and send them to all three.
What does the payment cover?
When is it due?
What happens if I withdraw?
Who do I call when something goes wrong?
Who is on my side?
Then read the answers side by side.
Donors who did this learned to spot vague or evasive replies.
Warm and vague is still vague.
Vague answers cost one donor real money.
Then the bill arrived
Back to the $3,400.
A donor withdrew and was billed for it.
Another donor in a shared program said backing out meant repaying "tens of thousands."
Numbers like that make people freeze and keep going.
They feel like a trap already closed.
She didn't accept it.
She opened the contract.
She read the contract instead of the invoice
Inside was a clause allowing free termination before injections.
She pointed to it.
She won.
The bill was real, but the clause was the one that counted.
She looked for the line that answered her exact problem.
You can do the same before you ever sign.
Where to look before you sign
Find the words cancellation, withdrawal and repayment.
Then find the moment medication starts.
Check when leaving is free and when it costs you.
Ask for anything unclear to be explained in plain language.
Terms can move, too.
Donors have negotiated who performs ultrasounds, companion travel and lodging, and advances for travel expenses.
Reading this on day one costs you an evening.
Reading it after the invoice costs a lot more.
Then comes the question the contract can't answer.
Ask who is on your side
The agency may sit between you and the clinic.
It may also sit closer to the intended parents than to you.
One donor said her agency never advocated for her while clinics mistreated her.
She stayed quiet so she wouldn't be removed.
Ask for a named contact and after-hours help.
Ask whether the lawyer offered to you is independent, or get your own.
And ask about the money, because it needs the same care.
Money you can count on
Pay for real work deserves a written schedule.
One donor was promised $10,000 within 90 days of her final procedure.
Five months later, she had been paid nothing.
Ask what happens if a cycle is cancelled.
Ask whether pay covers lost wages, travel and recovery.
Put the schedule on paper before you say yes.
Even then, you may worry about how asking will look.
Looking difficult is the fear
You're worried that if you stop to ask, they'll move on to the next girl.
A polite list of questions looks organized.
An agency that goes cold on it has shown you how it handles a hard day.
Maybe you're already matched and afraid to look.
Reading before the first injection is the cheapest moment to learn what you'd owe.
Reading first is what makes it safe to start
Some donors finish grateful and recommend the process.
Helping another family build theirs can be a good thing to do.
It sits better when you begin calm, not rushed.
You haven't picked anyone yet.
That means you still have every choice.
Which brings you to tonight.
Your next move is one email
Open a blank message tonight.
Paste in your five questions.
Send it to all three agencies.
Then read what comes back.